well, not really. I went to weigh in last week and it was stuck on 120 (which I'd take in a heartbeat!) so I had to buy a new one. According to the new one, I gained 8 pounds in a week, even though my clothes are all too loose. No worries, I just readjusted my thinking, it's not the number that matters, it's how the clothes fit!
Well, I think the roller coaster ride has come to a temporary stop. DJ, Diana, and Haylee made it safely to Philly and her family. DJ learned many things that helped fill in some holes, it's all good. I think it will be a good move for them, they both have jobs lined up already and Di's uncle has really taken DJ under his wing, which DJ desperately needs.
I went to pick up his paycheck at Hardees, and it warmed my heart to hear all the positive comments from co-workers, the store manager, and even the district manager! "What a great guy", "He always made me feel better when I am down", "My favorite manager!", and they said to have him call if he comes back, I think they'd hire him right back even though he left so suddenly. I always knew he was a great kid and now other people are seeing it as well. He needed to hear that so I texted him all the nice words. I hope it rose his spirits. James and I are enjoying some time together. We went tubing on Fire's Creek yesterday and have been playing board games. Even though my faith was seriously shaken this week, it's back as strong as ever and all I can say is, "Praise God, life is good!"
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
focus on the positive
Ok-time for a new outlook!
The gluten/casein free diet is going well and I've even managed to track most of the points on WW, which is huge since I feel like I'm on 2 diets at once! I think James is still recovering from the pizza as his behavior hasn't been great the last few days; he even lost the fireworks last night (I don't care that they're only once a year-you mess up you pay the consequence!)
On the plus side, I have a pile of freshly grown veggies to eat in trade for some math instruction. Fair deal to me, I hope that the math student feels the same! James may have a new buddy to play some chess with as well, one his age for a change instead of always hanging out with us! Sounds win-win to me!
My pile of veggies includes cabbage, which I love but usually only eat with the traditional corned beef dinner. I have several vegetarian cookbooks from my no-meat days and found several recipes that look great! Tonight it will be cabbage rolls stuffed with wild mushrooms and brown rice with a tomato-based sauce-sounds yummy! I just need to figure the points so I know how many to eat! Jim says, "What, no meat?", so I'll have to cook something on the side, maybe some crab cakes...we'll see what happens.
We had a quiet 4th. DJ and Di came over for a cookout Sunday night because I knew he'd want to spend the 4th with his friends. James, Jim and I had our annual viewing of "1776", which I love! I saw it in 7th grade on a field trip, that was the bicentennial year and our year focused on that, which was cool, especially living in Massachusetts! Now I subject Jim and James to it every 4th, and they know all the songs, too!
Happy week!
The gluten/casein free diet is going well and I've even managed to track most of the points on WW, which is huge since I feel like I'm on 2 diets at once! I think James is still recovering from the pizza as his behavior hasn't been great the last few days; he even lost the fireworks last night (I don't care that they're only once a year-you mess up you pay the consequence!)
On the plus side, I have a pile of freshly grown veggies to eat in trade for some math instruction. Fair deal to me, I hope that the math student feels the same! James may have a new buddy to play some chess with as well, one his age for a change instead of always hanging out with us! Sounds win-win to me!
My pile of veggies includes cabbage, which I love but usually only eat with the traditional corned beef dinner. I have several vegetarian cookbooks from my no-meat days and found several recipes that look great! Tonight it will be cabbage rolls stuffed with wild mushrooms and brown rice with a tomato-based sauce-sounds yummy! I just need to figure the points so I know how many to eat! Jim says, "What, no meat?", so I'll have to cook something on the side, maybe some crab cakes...we'll see what happens.
We had a quiet 4th. DJ and Di came over for a cookout Sunday night because I knew he'd want to spend the 4th with his friends. James, Jim and I had our annual viewing of "1776", which I love! I saw it in 7th grade on a field trip, that was the bicentennial year and our year focused on that, which was cool, especially living in Massachusetts! Now I subject Jim and James to it every 4th, and they know all the songs, too!
Happy week!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
discriminated against
Ok-so it has been quite a week. "Boy", as we refer to James, figured out how to order pay-per-views in the few minutes that I was not in the room with him (I guess I should just "hold it!"). This was accidentally discovered when Jim hit the recall button on the remote and the previous channel was the NUDE channel playing "Girls Gone Wild". He called Dish Network and was walked through how to determine if any others were purchased; they were and totaled $124! So of course we spent the night having conversations with James about sex, lying, "those kinds" of movies, etc. We also unplugged the TV (which I am enjoying!). A later call to Dish resulted in all of the charges being taken off (yeah!).
In the meantime, there is a local camp that has different sessions over the summer, one being a Junior Music Camp. I called to talk to the director to see what would need to happen so James could attend. The secretary wanted more info to pass on and I reluctantly gave her a brief overview of James and his disability and related needs. I also told her that he probably wouldn't be spending the night, that I'd pick him up and drop him off each day and that I could come assist him at times that I know could be troublesome for him. The director never called me back. I had tried to get him in this same camp 2 years ago and the answer was, "We don't take kids like that". Obviously, they don't realize that it is against federal law to discriminate against a person due to a disability (Americans with Disabilities Act). I am still trying to get in touch with the person to voice my thoughts about this, but I will not pursue it legally since this is such a small town and it would only cause more problems for James; I don't want him to become ostracized more than he already is.
As much as I understand (believe me, I get it more than anyone!!) what a handful he can be, the lack of resources for him that I can afford (camp at the Autism Society for one week is $4,000!) is frustrating and discouraging. It's not just this remote area I live in, either, it was actually worse in Central Florida. What he needs the most is more experience with other kids so he can learn appropriate social skills, but no one will give him a chance. Even in Florida, the relatives didn't want to spend time with him because he's so much work (now you know why we moved away!). All he's learning from this is that he is different and a freak that no one wants to be around and it breaks my heart.
Solution? Well, Jim finally agreed to start James on the GFCF (gluten-free, casien-free) diet, which has shown positive results in many with with Autism or ADHD, and James has both. What this could do is calm him down, help him to focus, and reduce the perseveration that he displays. Calming him down (the medication does some, but not when he's in an overstimulating setting) would reduce or eliminate the need to make strange noises in peoples' faces, reduce or eliminate the need to put his hands on others, help him to respect personal space, and help him listen and understand better in these situations. This is the biggest challenge he has. After 2 days on this, I saw some improvement, but then we didn't leave the house and he wasn't in any overstimulating settings. Yesterday we went out for promised pizza, NOT allowed on this diet, and saw an immediate negative reaction, which was good because now I think Jim is convinced. So we will try it for a few months and see what happens. In the meantime, I will call the camp and, calmly and rationally, give them a piece of my mind. I think we need to set up a fund of some sort for James to earn money to attend the Autism camp next summer. Most of the family may be willing to make a donation and he can earn money during the year doing various things. This will give him an opportunity to set a goal and do what needs to be done to reach it.
Stepping off the soap box and out of the crybaby seat now, have a great 4th of July!
In the meantime, there is a local camp that has different sessions over the summer, one being a Junior Music Camp. I called to talk to the director to see what would need to happen so James could attend. The secretary wanted more info to pass on and I reluctantly gave her a brief overview of James and his disability and related needs. I also told her that he probably wouldn't be spending the night, that I'd pick him up and drop him off each day and that I could come assist him at times that I know could be troublesome for him. The director never called me back. I had tried to get him in this same camp 2 years ago and the answer was, "We don't take kids like that". Obviously, they don't realize that it is against federal law to discriminate against a person due to a disability (Americans with Disabilities Act). I am still trying to get in touch with the person to voice my thoughts about this, but I will not pursue it legally since this is such a small town and it would only cause more problems for James; I don't want him to become ostracized more than he already is.
As much as I understand (believe me, I get it more than anyone!!) what a handful he can be, the lack of resources for him that I can afford (camp at the Autism Society for one week is $4,000!) is frustrating and discouraging. It's not just this remote area I live in, either, it was actually worse in Central Florida. What he needs the most is more experience with other kids so he can learn appropriate social skills, but no one will give him a chance. Even in Florida, the relatives didn't want to spend time with him because he's so much work (now you know why we moved away!). All he's learning from this is that he is different and a freak that no one wants to be around and it breaks my heart.
Solution? Well, Jim finally agreed to start James on the GFCF (gluten-free, casien-free) diet, which has shown positive results in many with with Autism or ADHD, and James has both. What this could do is calm him down, help him to focus, and reduce the perseveration that he displays. Calming him down (the medication does some, but not when he's in an overstimulating setting) would reduce or eliminate the need to make strange noises in peoples' faces, reduce or eliminate the need to put his hands on others, help him to respect personal space, and help him listen and understand better in these situations. This is the biggest challenge he has. After 2 days on this, I saw some improvement, but then we didn't leave the house and he wasn't in any overstimulating settings. Yesterday we went out for promised pizza, NOT allowed on this diet, and saw an immediate negative reaction, which was good because now I think Jim is convinced. So we will try it for a few months and see what happens. In the meantime, I will call the camp and, calmly and rationally, give them a piece of my mind. I think we need to set up a fund of some sort for James to earn money to attend the Autism camp next summer. Most of the family may be willing to make a donation and he can earn money during the year doing various things. This will give him an opportunity to set a goal and do what needs to be done to reach it.
Stepping off the soap box and out of the crybaby seat now, have a great 4th of July!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
tough decision
I hate having to make decisions that will impact not only my life but others as well.
A job opening has come up in a school much closer to me. I would be cutting my driving time and gas bill in half. Plus, I would be able to participate in the events outside of school that are just too far for me to attend at the present school.
Those are the only pluses.
On the down side: I love where I teach now. If I stay, I'll being doing the same thing 2 years in a row for a change, and actually feel like I know what I'm doing. I love the people I work with and I think they like me back, I would miss that. I've heard horrible things about the school that has the opening, in fact, I interviewed for this same opening almost 3 years ago and didn't get it. I believe it has been open another time since then as well, so why won't anyone stay? Jim feels that since I have done so well "fitting in" where I am now, I can just do the same thing at the other school and get the same results, I'm not so sure. This is truly the first time in my life that I feel like I fit in and that people actually like me, what if the rumors I've heard about the attitudes of the people at the other school are true and they make me miserable? Is it worth saving a few bucks? Actually, the county I'm in now gives a stipend every year which about covers the difference in gas, so I'll be breaking even unless the other county does the same. I've put in my application and I guess I just need to leave it up to what God thinks is best for me...
A job opening has come up in a school much closer to me. I would be cutting my driving time and gas bill in half. Plus, I would be able to participate in the events outside of school that are just too far for me to attend at the present school.
Those are the only pluses.
On the down side: I love where I teach now. If I stay, I'll being doing the same thing 2 years in a row for a change, and actually feel like I know what I'm doing. I love the people I work with and I think they like me back, I would miss that. I've heard horrible things about the school that has the opening, in fact, I interviewed for this same opening almost 3 years ago and didn't get it. I believe it has been open another time since then as well, so why won't anyone stay? Jim feels that since I have done so well "fitting in" where I am now, I can just do the same thing at the other school and get the same results, I'm not so sure. This is truly the first time in my life that I feel like I fit in and that people actually like me, what if the rumors I've heard about the attitudes of the people at the other school are true and they make me miserable? Is it worth saving a few bucks? Actually, the county I'm in now gives a stipend every year which about covers the difference in gas, so I'll be breaking even unless the other county does the same. I've put in my application and I guess I just need to leave it up to what God thinks is best for me...
Sunday, June 19, 2011
the roller coaster has stopped (for now!)
What a week! Going from the highest of highs Sunday to the lowest of lows Monday, only to find out that false accusations were made and someone was accused before all the avenues were tried. Good thing the accuser can be a man and not only apologize, but promise to make it right. The best thing in all of this is that the accuser finally sees and acknowledges how quick he is to judge certain people, and wants to make it right. I'm glad the accused can accept the apology and be open to things, maybe, finally changing.
I did lose 2 pounds this week! My computer crashed on Wednesday and I just got it back; funny how you don't realize how much time you spend on something until it's no longer there to to use! Anyhow, I haven't been on the WW site to log in my weight loss or foods since the crash, and I know I'll never remember at this point all that I ate, so I'm going to try to watch on my own and see what the scale says on Thursday.
Busy week again, VBS Monday-Friday from 9-12, then various activities almost every night. Plus we need to fit in math practice, French, and instrument practice! I'm tired just thinking about it!
I did lose 2 pounds this week! My computer crashed on Wednesday and I just got it back; funny how you don't realize how much time you spend on something until it's no longer there to to use! Anyhow, I haven't been on the WW site to log in my weight loss or foods since the crash, and I know I'll never remember at this point all that I ate, so I'm going to try to watch on my own and see what the scale says on Thursday.
Busy week again, VBS Monday-Friday from 9-12, then various activities almost every night. Plus we need to fit in math practice, French, and instrument practice! I'm tired just thinking about it!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
then the world crashed in
The day after my last post, my entire world came crashing down. I don't want to go into details here, let's just say that the dream I'd always prayed for is never going to happen. To go from such a high on Sunday to the bottom of the pits on Monday is emotionally draining, to say the least. After 24 hours of holding back tears (sort of), I finally have come to the acceptance stage of grief. This really should have happened years ago but being an eternal optimist I refused to give up. So, now, I'm throwing in the towel. I'll never stop hoping for this to fix, but I can no longer spend such an amount of emotional energy on it, especially since it's beyond my control (reminder to self: I can only control ME, no one else).
I'm done.
So on the diet front, when I'm mad or agitated, I pig out. When I'm in a significant emotional state, I can't eat at all, so I should show a weight loss tomorrow. I've gotten in plenty of exercise moving things around my classroom, running back and forth to gather/put away things. I learned a dance Monday in clogging that I've wanted to learn for a while, but since I'm the only one that doesn't know it, I couldn't get them to slow down enough for me to get it. So, I've been practicing that as well. I found out about another dance style they do at the folk school, English Country, that I'm told doesn't have the spins that contra does, so I'm going to keep a look out for that and sign up. Today is my last official day of work until August 1st, so I'm going to plan some activities for James and I, including our French lessons and 6th grade math. He's really enjoying learning French and I'm surprised at how easily it's coming back to me from the classes I took in Junior High! He earned a free pass to Six Flags in Atlanta that we'll do next week and we're going to Chattanooga tomorrow to see one of Jim's old favorites, Uriah Heap. (I've never heard of them, but he played a song for James and James loves them-he's the one that wants to go to the concert!) Also on the plans for the next few weeks: Charleston and other spots in SC, Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, and Stone Mountain, GA. These are all day trips for us (except Charleston) since we live so far west in NC, so the only cost will be gas (ugh!) and admission.
I'm done.
So on the diet front, when I'm mad or agitated, I pig out. When I'm in a significant emotional state, I can't eat at all, so I should show a weight loss tomorrow. I've gotten in plenty of exercise moving things around my classroom, running back and forth to gather/put away things. I learned a dance Monday in clogging that I've wanted to learn for a while, but since I'm the only one that doesn't know it, I couldn't get them to slow down enough for me to get it. So, I've been practicing that as well. I found out about another dance style they do at the folk school, English Country, that I'm told doesn't have the spins that contra does, so I'm going to keep a look out for that and sign up. Today is my last official day of work until August 1st, so I'm going to plan some activities for James and I, including our French lessons and 6th grade math. He's really enjoying learning French and I'm surprised at how easily it's coming back to me from the classes I took in Junior High! He earned a free pass to Six Flags in Atlanta that we'll do next week and we're going to Chattanooga tomorrow to see one of Jim's old favorites, Uriah Heap. (I've never heard of them, but he played a song for James and James loves them-he's the one that wants to go to the concert!) Also on the plans for the next few weeks: Charleston and other spots in SC, Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, and Stone Mountain, GA. These are all day trips for us (except Charleston) since we live so far west in NC, so the only cost will be gas (ugh!) and admission.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
aaahhhh, calm and serene
Whew! What a crazy few weeks it's been, both personally and professionally. Testing didn't end until the last full day of school, how crazy is that! Although, it would make more sense to have testing the last week of school rather than 3 weeks out; those that passed just come to school and play while the rest prepare to re-test.
I lost one pound this week, which puts me at one-over-par for where I was, but still closer! Finding time to log my WW points combined with the male of the species wanting fattening foods all the time (there is only so much time in a day!) has become challenging. Now that DJ and Di are completely moved into their own place, I may have more time, but I doubt it as I didn't spend a whole lot of time doing for them (only worrying about them!).
Good news! DJ's divorce should be final by this Wednesday, then he has to wait 30 days and he and Di can get married! Yeah! They both sounded very positive about it, and I sensed something different (in a good way) in both of them today. Haylee's baptism is being put off until her family can come down from PA, which should be next month. So, they are on the right track!
I get to spend some time with James the next few days. He'll be coming to work with me. We'll probably be the only ones in the building, as usual, but that's OK. Clogging Monday, Contra Tuesday, Karate Wednesday, concert in Chattanooga Thursday (Uriah Heap!), and hopefully sleep on Friday because Haylee comes on Saturday for our weekly time together. Sounds like a plan!
I lost one pound this week, which puts me at one-over-par for where I was, but still closer! Finding time to log my WW points combined with the male of the species wanting fattening foods all the time (there is only so much time in a day!) has become challenging. Now that DJ and Di are completely moved into their own place, I may have more time, but I doubt it as I didn't spend a whole lot of time doing for them (only worrying about them!).
Good news! DJ's divorce should be final by this Wednesday, then he has to wait 30 days and he and Di can get married! Yeah! They both sounded very positive about it, and I sensed something different (in a good way) in both of them today. Haylee's baptism is being put off until her family can come down from PA, which should be next month. So, they are on the right track!
I get to spend some time with James the next few days. He'll be coming to work with me. We'll probably be the only ones in the building, as usual, but that's OK. Clogging Monday, Contra Tuesday, Karate Wednesday, concert in Chattanooga Thursday (Uriah Heap!), and hopefully sleep on Friday because Haylee comes on Saturday for our weekly time together. Sounds like a plan!
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