blame it on testing

Well, I gained back 2 pounds this week. Aargh! Could be from lack of running around like I usually do since I was trapped in a room administering the state test instead of traveling from room to room like a gypsy. OR, it could be the lack of support and understanding from the male in the family when he insisted we go to the pizza buffet for dinner the night before weigh-in. (yes, it's his fault that I had 3 slices of pizza and 2 slices of dessert pizza!) Or it could just be one of those things, after all, weight does fluctuate. I still fit into a pair of pants I haven't worn in a long time and a shirt I've never worn (although it was a bit tight!).
Speaking of testing, not-so-great results, although most of my students (that actually tried) did make gains over last year. So, 4 days of remediation and they get to do it all again! This is the part of "teaching" that I hate. The kids were so down today, I felt bad for them.We place so much emphasis on these tests, the powers that be should come see what happens to these kids and how we have to "teach to the test" if we want them to pass and therefore keep our jobs. Not in all cases of course, just some, but I feel like they aren't getting some important information so we can concentrate on the test.
Off my soapbox.

So, leftovers for dinner, TV for a bit, then early to bed-I'm exhausted!

underwear falling

OK-so all-in-all I've lost 17 pounds counting the 10 I'd lost last year and managed to keep off. I'm noticing it in my clothes now as I walk down the hall and feel the panties slipping down-time to go shopping! I need to lose a few more for the breathing to improve I guess (asthma stinks!)
I was unable to make to clogging Monday due to the Autism Society meeting. I took James to Contra dancing Tuesday but just watched (holding Haylee!). Wednesday was James' trial Karate lesson, he begins real classes Saturday. Last night was his band concert. It's been a busy week! I must go for a walk or something tonight! Tomorrow is a clogging dance, but I can't participate because I wasn't at practice Monday, but we can park far away and go watch it, that counts as exercise! I'm still wearing the pedometer to work and logging 2-3 activity points per day so that's good!
DJ and Di have found a trailer to rent near Di's boss. This is good because they've become friends and can ride to work together and save gas! It's also closer to her job but about the same distance to DJ's as it is from here, just from the opposite direction. They move in June 1st. I miss them already, but have plans to kidnap Haylee every Saturday afternoon and keep her until Sunday morning, so I'm still guaranteed to see tham at least once a week!
I've got to go plan the points for the day. I keep all my friends and family in daily prayer and hope God blesses them today!

heartbreaking

As a parent of a child with a disability (well, two disabilities if ADHD counts), it's heartbreaking to see him struggle with making friends. His Autism causes him to be easily over-stimulated and to misread social cues of others. When over-stimulated, he makes strange noises, gets too close to kids, and generally can be annoying to other kids. He also can't "read" that they are annoyed, and thinks that they are enjoying his "silliness". Once in this mode, he's nearly impossible to re-direct until someone yells at him or gets hurt. He wants desperately to have a friend, but has never been invited to a birthday party or sleepover. We sign him up for things like scouts, karate, and baseball in the hopes that he can make a friend, but these social clubs just help point out how different he really is. He's really not that into scouts, we have to force him to look at his handbook or do things to advance. Jim hates going on camping trips (he has the same social anxiety and can't handle any kind of chaos), so we've decided to quit scouts for a year or two. James has wanted to get back into karate, but it's expensive and a long drive (gas money!). We're going to a trail lesson Wednesday to see how it goes. Maybe he'll find someone to relate to there...
On a positive note: people used to think I was my son's grandmother, but now they think I'm my granddaughter's mother. So, therefore, I must look younger than I did 10 years ago. Is it the change from spiky red hair and glasses to long blonde hair and contacts? Or is it the change of atmosphere from anxiety and stress-filled heat and humidity in Florida to calm and relaxing life in the mountains? I don't care!! They think I'm Haylee's mom and that's a compliment I will surely take!

what stress?

Well, this has been a tough few days, and as usual I handled it with pure sugar. Had a small bag of Bit-O-Honeys in the a.m., then almost a whole bag of twizzlers in the p.m. (Thanks, Renee for helping me finish those off!) I would have had a wine cooler when I got home, but I took James to Contra dancing at the Folk School. It was fun in a weird sort of way. Usually, you don't see too many guys out dancing, but not here! All the men really knew what they were doing, especially when getting a little side-boob action when swinging me! Maybe I'm paranoid or just uptight from being a "Bostonian". Anyhow, James loved it and was laughing and talking the entire drive home! Good exercise, too, worth 6 points! Weigh-in is tomorrow, so I want to really stick within the points today so I'll show a loss on the morning scale.
"What is stressing you out?" you ask. Answer: What isn't? Hubby made me mad over something last night, but now I can't remember what. I'm sure it was important, though! James is doing great, I'm trying to make sure I spend more time with him. I've been mentally pre-occupied worrying about DJ and Di. Won't go into it here, but he's a very intense person, fun but intense! Knowing that my advice usually goes unheeded, I try to limit it to only the very important stuff, but even that goes unheeded. He's just determined to learn the hard way! Love him to bits, though! Work is always stressful just before testing, but I think Keumele, the testing coordinator, is way stressed, poor thing! I'll keep her and several others on the top of the prayer list!
Time for coffee!

The best news ever!

First of all, I lost 2 pounds which puts me below a plateau I've been on for over a year! But that's not the news! Di informed me that her and DJ have decided not to move back to Florida! Keeping in mind that DJ has always been very impulsive and never famous for thinking things through, I have guarded optimism that this will actually happen! Hardees has alluded that they are eying him for a general manager position at one of their stores, which would make him the youngest GM they've ever had. Di had not yet informed her family that they were planning to go back to FL (long story) so she seems relieved that she now won't have to.  But the best part is I get to see my baby girl all the time still!
The "old" me would have had some cake in celebration, but instead I just praised God and prayed that this happens.
I should go back to bed now, but I'd be getting up for work soon anyhow...

"I went skydiving

I went Rocky Mountain climbing, I did 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu. And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying. And he said someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying." Tim McGraw. I'm not a big fan of country music, but I love this one. I keep thinking about Sonia.I hadn't talked to her in so long, kept putting it off. Now she's gone. I promised myself after her funeral to live my life and not just let it pass by. This song says it all for me.
So what am I doing about it? I won't be going skydiving or riding any bulls in the near future. But I did pick up my son's guitar last night and began to teach myself how to play, something I've been wanting to do forever. I have the books from when I took lessons in my 20's (none of which I remember!). (The lessons, not my 20's!) I'm going to purchase the Rosetta Stone software to learn French, something I've wanted to do since junior high (the main reason I didn't want to go to Assabet was because I couldn't continue taking French.) I've also vowed to appreciate every moment with those I love and care about, especially my husband, children, and Haylee. I still can't believe DJ is 21, where did that time go? I'm going to take better care of myself and continue the diet and exercise program. I missed clogging last night, so I need to practice this week to keep sharp on the dances and for the exercise. I'm also going to think about everything I eat and ask myself if what I'm about to put in my mouth is going prolong my life or shorten it. And I'm going to keep praying...

sometimes it takes a tragedy

A wonderful woman that I used to work with was killed suddenly Friday. She was 41. Her funeral was yesterday, and even though it was very sad Dr. Ackerman said something that hit me. Sonia was put here to show us how to live. She was full of energy, compassion, and caring. She was honest in everything she did; you always knew where you stood with her. So many people said so many wonderful things about her. It's making me think about how I can be more like her and the changes I need to make to get there.
One thing my friend Charissa said was that God created us and wants us to think highly of his creation. This means I need to love myself as God loves me. It also means that I need to take better care of his creation. On the diet/exercise front, I did well this weekend. I've been looking for an angle to help me stay committed to this program. Upcoming events like weddings and class reunions don't do it. Trying to please someone else hasn't done it. Trying to fit into the tiny shorts that have been hanging on the bathroom door for 2 years obviously hasn't done it. Maybe reminding myself that I'm taking care of one of God's precious creations will finally do it. He's done so much for me, I need to care for what He's given me. Knowing I'm doing it for Him, will that work for me or will I be "using" Him as an excuse?