It sure seems strange saying "the last days of summer" when it's still July, but I go back to work Monday followed by students on Thursday. This has been an emotional and crazy summer, to say the least! Going back to work will almost be a break!
Starting with the youngest, James: puberty has hit early! He grew another 2-3 inches over the summer and is now only 2" shorter than me, his voice has changed, and his attitude along with it! His interest in girls and all things to do with them has exploded as we found out (the hard way) with the $124 pay-per-view bill (which Dish Network graciously reversed!). Being asked to leave VBS early due to his behavior was saddening for him and heartbreaking for me, but completely understood due to the nature of the violation. Trying the GFCF diet with him has shown some promise; he answers me more quickly when I ask him to stop doing something he enjoys and seems calmer overall. Of course this could be due to being on summer break and away from the things that stress him out, hard to say. On the positive side, his sense of humor is still great and, for the most part, he's a great kids who gets lots of compliments for his sensitivity and gracious manners.
D.J., oh D.J., what can a mother do? I love this child with every fiber of my being, he has a great sense of humor and can liven up any conversation with his unique points of view. BUT, he is so impulsive and doesn't think anything through before jumping, "ready, fire, aim!" as Richard Lavoie says. He and Di have moved to Philly where they have been on- again-off- again, most recently on- again with a new determination to make it work. I miss Haylee so much, but keep reminding myself that many grandparents live far from the grandkids and still make it work, I just wanted to be part of her day-to-day life and not just hear about it later. I'll just keep praying...
I love my husband, but now understand those women who have been homemakers all their lives until the husband retires, then they are driven crazy! At least he has a job and has been keeping busy with side jobs, Knights of Columbus, RCIA, and the Cadillac. And he loves me enough to want to be with me EVERY SECOND OF EVERY DAY!
This blog started out with my desperate attempt to lose weight. Not working is not working for me! When I'm at work, I pack my lunch and only eat what is in my lunch box, easy to control. When I'm home, especially in the stressful situations I've had this summer, all I do is eat. Oh- and my scale broke and the new one adds at least 5 pounds, so my poundage is higher even though the clothes still fit. So, starting Monday, I'm back on the diet 100% and will try to stick with the GFCF as much as possible as well.
Lastly (I promise!), I had to give in and realize that I am no longer a candidate for wearing contact lenses, a very difficult thing to do as I have been fighting wearing glasses for 38 years now! My astigmatism has gotten to the point where it cannot be corrected with contacts. So I got some nice, rimless bifocals (the distance rx is so strong it messes up the reading vision). Then I couldn't see the computer and when I almost set my hair on fire leaning in to see what I was cooking, I went back and was prescribed tri-focals. Ta-da! I can see better now than I have in years. It's amazing what you miss without even realizing it when you can't see properly!
Enough now. Have a great summer, if you still have one!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I broke the scale...
well, not really. I went to weigh in last week and it was stuck on 120 (which I'd take in a heartbeat!) so I had to buy a new one. According to the new one, I gained 8 pounds in a week, even though my clothes are all too loose. No worries, I just readjusted my thinking, it's not the number that matters, it's how the clothes fit!
Well, I think the roller coaster ride has come to a temporary stop. DJ, Diana, and Haylee made it safely to Philly and her family. DJ learned many things that helped fill in some holes, it's all good. I think it will be a good move for them, they both have jobs lined up already and Di's uncle has really taken DJ under his wing, which DJ desperately needs.
I went to pick up his paycheck at Hardees, and it warmed my heart to hear all the positive comments from co-workers, the store manager, and even the district manager! "What a great guy", "He always made me feel better when I am down", "My favorite manager!", and they said to have him call if he comes back, I think they'd hire him right back even though he left so suddenly. I always knew he was a great kid and now other people are seeing it as well. He needed to hear that so I texted him all the nice words. I hope it rose his spirits. James and I are enjoying some time together. We went tubing on Fire's Creek yesterday and have been playing board games. Even though my faith was seriously shaken this week, it's back as strong as ever and all I can say is, "Praise God, life is good!"
Well, I think the roller coaster ride has come to a temporary stop. DJ, Diana, and Haylee made it safely to Philly and her family. DJ learned many things that helped fill in some holes, it's all good. I think it will be a good move for them, they both have jobs lined up already and Di's uncle has really taken DJ under his wing, which DJ desperately needs.
I went to pick up his paycheck at Hardees, and it warmed my heart to hear all the positive comments from co-workers, the store manager, and even the district manager! "What a great guy", "He always made me feel better when I am down", "My favorite manager!", and they said to have him call if he comes back, I think they'd hire him right back even though he left so suddenly. I always knew he was a great kid and now other people are seeing it as well. He needed to hear that so I texted him all the nice words. I hope it rose his spirits. James and I are enjoying some time together. We went tubing on Fire's Creek yesterday and have been playing board games. Even though my faith was seriously shaken this week, it's back as strong as ever and all I can say is, "Praise God, life is good!"
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
focus on the positive
Ok-time for a new outlook!
The gluten/casein free diet is going well and I've even managed to track most of the points on WW, which is huge since I feel like I'm on 2 diets at once! I think James is still recovering from the pizza as his behavior hasn't been great the last few days; he even lost the fireworks last night (I don't care that they're only once a year-you mess up you pay the consequence!)
On the plus side, I have a pile of freshly grown veggies to eat in trade for some math instruction. Fair deal to me, I hope that the math student feels the same! James may have a new buddy to play some chess with as well, one his age for a change instead of always hanging out with us! Sounds win-win to me!
My pile of veggies includes cabbage, which I love but usually only eat with the traditional corned beef dinner. I have several vegetarian cookbooks from my no-meat days and found several recipes that look great! Tonight it will be cabbage rolls stuffed with wild mushrooms and brown rice with a tomato-based sauce-sounds yummy! I just need to figure the points so I know how many to eat! Jim says, "What, no meat?", so I'll have to cook something on the side, maybe some crab cakes...we'll see what happens.
We had a quiet 4th. DJ and Di came over for a cookout Sunday night because I knew he'd want to spend the 4th with his friends. James, Jim and I had our annual viewing of "1776", which I love! I saw it in 7th grade on a field trip, that was the bicentennial year and our year focused on that, which was cool, especially living in Massachusetts! Now I subject Jim and James to it every 4th, and they know all the songs, too!
Happy week!
The gluten/casein free diet is going well and I've even managed to track most of the points on WW, which is huge since I feel like I'm on 2 diets at once! I think James is still recovering from the pizza as his behavior hasn't been great the last few days; he even lost the fireworks last night (I don't care that they're only once a year-you mess up you pay the consequence!)
On the plus side, I have a pile of freshly grown veggies to eat in trade for some math instruction. Fair deal to me, I hope that the math student feels the same! James may have a new buddy to play some chess with as well, one his age for a change instead of always hanging out with us! Sounds win-win to me!
My pile of veggies includes cabbage, which I love but usually only eat with the traditional corned beef dinner. I have several vegetarian cookbooks from my no-meat days and found several recipes that look great! Tonight it will be cabbage rolls stuffed with wild mushrooms and brown rice with a tomato-based sauce-sounds yummy! I just need to figure the points so I know how many to eat! Jim says, "What, no meat?", so I'll have to cook something on the side, maybe some crab cakes...we'll see what happens.
We had a quiet 4th. DJ and Di came over for a cookout Sunday night because I knew he'd want to spend the 4th with his friends. James, Jim and I had our annual viewing of "1776", which I love! I saw it in 7th grade on a field trip, that was the bicentennial year and our year focused on that, which was cool, especially living in Massachusetts! Now I subject Jim and James to it every 4th, and they know all the songs, too!
Happy week!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
discriminated against
Ok-so it has been quite a week. "Boy", as we refer to James, figured out how to order pay-per-views in the few minutes that I was not in the room with him (I guess I should just "hold it!"). This was accidentally discovered when Jim hit the recall button on the remote and the previous channel was the NUDE channel playing "Girls Gone Wild". He called Dish Network and was walked through how to determine if any others were purchased; they were and totaled $124! So of course we spent the night having conversations with James about sex, lying, "those kinds" of movies, etc. We also unplugged the TV (which I am enjoying!). A later call to Dish resulted in all of the charges being taken off (yeah!).
In the meantime, there is a local camp that has different sessions over the summer, one being a Junior Music Camp. I called to talk to the director to see what would need to happen so James could attend. The secretary wanted more info to pass on and I reluctantly gave her a brief overview of James and his disability and related needs. I also told her that he probably wouldn't be spending the night, that I'd pick him up and drop him off each day and that I could come assist him at times that I know could be troublesome for him. The director never called me back. I had tried to get him in this same camp 2 years ago and the answer was, "We don't take kids like that". Obviously, they don't realize that it is against federal law to discriminate against a person due to a disability (Americans with Disabilities Act). I am still trying to get in touch with the person to voice my thoughts about this, but I will not pursue it legally since this is such a small town and it would only cause more problems for James; I don't want him to become ostracized more than he already is.
As much as I understand (believe me, I get it more than anyone!!) what a handful he can be, the lack of resources for him that I can afford (camp at the Autism Society for one week is $4,000!) is frustrating and discouraging. It's not just this remote area I live in, either, it was actually worse in Central Florida. What he needs the most is more experience with other kids so he can learn appropriate social skills, but no one will give him a chance. Even in Florida, the relatives didn't want to spend time with him because he's so much work (now you know why we moved away!). All he's learning from this is that he is different and a freak that no one wants to be around and it breaks my heart.
Solution? Well, Jim finally agreed to start James on the GFCF (gluten-free, casien-free) diet, which has shown positive results in many with with Autism or ADHD, and James has both. What this could do is calm him down, help him to focus, and reduce the perseveration that he displays. Calming him down (the medication does some, but not when he's in an overstimulating setting) would reduce or eliminate the need to make strange noises in peoples' faces, reduce or eliminate the need to put his hands on others, help him to respect personal space, and help him listen and understand better in these situations. This is the biggest challenge he has. After 2 days on this, I saw some improvement, but then we didn't leave the house and he wasn't in any overstimulating settings. Yesterday we went out for promised pizza, NOT allowed on this diet, and saw an immediate negative reaction, which was good because now I think Jim is convinced. So we will try it for a few months and see what happens. In the meantime, I will call the camp and, calmly and rationally, give them a piece of my mind. I think we need to set up a fund of some sort for James to earn money to attend the Autism camp next summer. Most of the family may be willing to make a donation and he can earn money during the year doing various things. This will give him an opportunity to set a goal and do what needs to be done to reach it.
Stepping off the soap box and out of the crybaby seat now, have a great 4th of July!
In the meantime, there is a local camp that has different sessions over the summer, one being a Junior Music Camp. I called to talk to the director to see what would need to happen so James could attend. The secretary wanted more info to pass on and I reluctantly gave her a brief overview of James and his disability and related needs. I also told her that he probably wouldn't be spending the night, that I'd pick him up and drop him off each day and that I could come assist him at times that I know could be troublesome for him. The director never called me back. I had tried to get him in this same camp 2 years ago and the answer was, "We don't take kids like that". Obviously, they don't realize that it is against federal law to discriminate against a person due to a disability (Americans with Disabilities Act). I am still trying to get in touch with the person to voice my thoughts about this, but I will not pursue it legally since this is such a small town and it would only cause more problems for James; I don't want him to become ostracized more than he already is.
As much as I understand (believe me, I get it more than anyone!!) what a handful he can be, the lack of resources for him that I can afford (camp at the Autism Society for one week is $4,000!) is frustrating and discouraging. It's not just this remote area I live in, either, it was actually worse in Central Florida. What he needs the most is more experience with other kids so he can learn appropriate social skills, but no one will give him a chance. Even in Florida, the relatives didn't want to spend time with him because he's so much work (now you know why we moved away!). All he's learning from this is that he is different and a freak that no one wants to be around and it breaks my heart.
Solution? Well, Jim finally agreed to start James on the GFCF (gluten-free, casien-free) diet, which has shown positive results in many with with Autism or ADHD, and James has both. What this could do is calm him down, help him to focus, and reduce the perseveration that he displays. Calming him down (the medication does some, but not when he's in an overstimulating setting) would reduce or eliminate the need to make strange noises in peoples' faces, reduce or eliminate the need to put his hands on others, help him to respect personal space, and help him listen and understand better in these situations. This is the biggest challenge he has. After 2 days on this, I saw some improvement, but then we didn't leave the house and he wasn't in any overstimulating settings. Yesterday we went out for promised pizza, NOT allowed on this diet, and saw an immediate negative reaction, which was good because now I think Jim is convinced. So we will try it for a few months and see what happens. In the meantime, I will call the camp and, calmly and rationally, give them a piece of my mind. I think we need to set up a fund of some sort for James to earn money to attend the Autism camp next summer. Most of the family may be willing to make a donation and he can earn money during the year doing various things. This will give him an opportunity to set a goal and do what needs to be done to reach it.
Stepping off the soap box and out of the crybaby seat now, have a great 4th of July!
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